Something I've learned about myself over the last few years is that I am not great at identifying my own emotions. When life got too harsh, or I became overwhelmed, my nervous system would shut down-throwing me into fight/fight/freeze/fawn, causing intense panic attacks for days before I could find my equilibrium again. Through painting and drawing, I've learned how to identify and process big emotions I habitually suppressed my entire life. Learning to express myself in a way that does not feel overwhelming has been life-changing.
American Woman
Balancing on a Sword
I've landed in a cycle that many artists find themselves in. I have great ideas; I execute, get great feedback, price, post, and then crickets. I can't blame my followers; I am not great at promoting myself. The economy is shit right now, and most people don't have money to spend on extras. No matter why I'm not selling work, it is a recipe for burnout. I have piles of beautiful clay flowers and an adorable booth in an art market, and I am not even coming close to breaking even on supply costs.
Frantic Fire, Everything Must Go
If I am candid with myself, while I love making beautiful objects with polymer clay, it doesn't set my soul on fire; it's not what I am here to do. So what am I here to do? I'm unsure but am being pulled hard toward self-acceptance, women's empowerment, and collective liberation.
With all of that said, I am taking a step back from regularly posting and promoting polymer clay creations.
At this time in my life, I am being pulled heavily to these deep feelings: to explore and understand them. I will be posting regularly on this journey. You can expect paintings, blogs, poems, and whatever else I feel I need to do to express myself. It's going even more feminist; it's going to get even more political; I am finally ready for you to see even more of who I am.
My Family Tree
Dear Medusa
You are amazing at every form of art that you create! So, I will be looking forward to seeing whatever your feelings or heart tells you to create each day! 😘